{"id":45,"date":"2008-02-22T01:52:27","date_gmt":"2008-02-22T08:52:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/?p=45"},"modified":"2008-02-22T01:52:27","modified_gmt":"2008-02-22T08:52:27","slug":"how-i-feel-this-morning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/?p=45","title":{"rendered":"How I feel this morning."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Right now, I feel (and admit to feeling) something that I rarely ever do. Right now I&#8217;m very angry with\/unhappy at my body. Right now I&#8217;m feeling sorry for myself. I just spent almost 7 hours on my feel (in heels) for the first time in almost 5 years. I would have to eat something to take my pills. I don&#8217;t want to eat. I want to just get in bed and go to sleep, but if I do that I know that I&#8217;ll wake up tomorrow in even more pain than I&#8217;m already in. I didn&#8217;t know what to expect today and I pushed myself too hard because of it and I&#8217;m hurting bad enough that even <em>with<\/em> pills I&#8217;d not want to do anything tomorrow. Right now I want a normal body with normal nerves and normal joints and normal feet. I want to have a normal night&#8217;s sleep without having to go through special things. Right now I want my second day at my new job to be positive and I want to go there and offer everything I can. I don&#8217;t want them to know that today hurt me as bad as it did.<\/p>\n<p>Right now I wish I wasn&#8217;t me. I know that I don&#8217;t genuinely mean that, and it makes me [more] sad that I&#8217;m feeling this way. I&#8217;m one of the biggest pushers of &#8220;Love Thyself,&#8221; but right now I&#8217;m being a hypocrite. That&#8217;s the one thing I hate the most. OK that&#8217;s not true, I hate liars more. So right now I&#8217;m being the thing I hate second most.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Right now, I feel (and admit to feeling) something that I rarely ever do. Right now I&#8217;m very angry with\/unhappy at my body. Right now I&#8217;m feeling sorry for myself. I just spent almost 7 hours on my feel (in heels) for the first time in almost 5 years. I would have to eat something [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15,4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=45"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=45"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=45"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fibro.nixanadoo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=45"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}